I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
