I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize