He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
