walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
