32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
