There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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