The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
