The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I need to align my fucking chakras
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