I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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