Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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