Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
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She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
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when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
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