I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
