I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
