I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Someone signed my nipple.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
