They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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