We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
