Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
