There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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