She's JV to your varsity
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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