put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
