my shit smells like andre
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
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