I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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