o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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