Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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