when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
