i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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