I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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