We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize