He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
