There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize