you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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