I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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