So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
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