Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
