Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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