Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
