He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
