woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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