Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
