real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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