So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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