So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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