What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
