My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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