I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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