My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
