Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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