i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
