IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
