dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
