Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
