3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
