dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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