it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize