id be glad to
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So apparently I’m into choking now
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
