You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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